Related:

• Q: What's the difference between a Yankee and a Texan?
  A: A Yankee will walk right up to a girl and stick it in, while a Texan will stick it in and walk right up to her ....
• This Texan goes to Hawaii for vacation. The first place they go is a beach.
  The Texan says, "Well yaknow, this is really a pretty beach, but it aint no big deal....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Start the day with a smile and get it over with.
• Gentlemen: Start your debuggers...
• To Exercise Or Not To Exercise... ** It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life.
  This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $...
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• 100 reasons why it's great to be a girl 1. free dinners 2.
  free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get the point) 5....
• Texas Vs. Australia A Texan farmer goes to Australia on vacation.
  There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking....