-- How many
lawyers
-- does it take to change a light bulb?
None, he'll have the paralegal do it. But, you'll get the
following bill:
Item Light bulb
Charge $2185
(Itemization of bill charges)
Lawyer's time (1 hr. minimum) $ 400
Connectivity charge $ 100
Staff charge $ 250
Secretary prepared bill $ 2
Research fee $ 422
Consulting fee $ 431
Paralegal processing fees $ 25
Specialized equipment $ 122
Bought bulb $ 5
Overnight express delivery $ 34
Rule 453.957(B)(1) charge $ 394
How many
lawyers
-- does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to
object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to
dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their
time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two
to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and
twenty-eight to bill for professional services....
How many
Microsoft Visual C++ programmers
-- does it take to change a light bulb?
400. 1 to change the bulb, 50 to write a magazine about it, 50
to write a help file about it, 50 to code a little gadget so
when you hit the bulb it will announce all the names of the
team involved, 50 to go down to the drinks machine and get
everyone their can of coke, 50 to show off about how installing
a light bulb for Bill has made them paper millionaires, 1 to
answer the phone at the help desk ("Putting you through to our
light bulb expert sir....
How many
Christians
-- does it take to change a light bulb?
200!!! 100 to sit in church and pray long sonorous prayers for it
to see the light again, 10 to stand on street corners and point out
to others how that if they don't accept what they're being told,
their light might go out as well, 3 to try and exorcise the demon of
darkness out of the light bulb, 2 to gather together in
"the name of the lord" because where two or more are gathered together
in "his" name....
