Related:

• I had two heart attacks before I bought this exercise bicycle.
  "And since then?" "I've had two more." -- Woody Allen, "Stardust Memorie...
• Anyone have a coat hanger? My brain itches.
• I had to move to New York for health reasons. I'm extremely paranoid and New York is the only place my fears are justified.
  -- Anita Wise...
• I don't exercise. What's in it for me? You've got to offer me more than my life to get me on a Stairmaster grunting for two hours.
  I view my body as a way of getting my head from one place to another. -- Dave Thoma...
• I upgraded my network last night. I bought new Nikes!
• An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed).
  When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage....
• My boyfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought him an atlas.
• My girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....