Related:

• Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way.
  Cars, too! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk.
  Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him....
• Marge: And then I saw my boy in a burlap sack, and they told me he had lice.
  [sniffs] Flub: [in a burlap sack with lice] Is this story going somewhere?...
• He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
• I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- S. Wrigh
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him.
  'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. -- Steven Wrigh...