Related:

• I bet you have fun chasing the soap around the bathtub.
  -- Princess Diana, to a one-armed war veteran during a visit to a London veterans hospital...
• I have my wedding to prepare, my wife to murder, and Gilder to frame for it.
  I'm swamped. -- Prince Humperdink, "The Princess Bride", movie...
• Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space -- Diana Black
• Abe: And to my son Homer -- Homer: Woo-hoo! Abe: -- and his entire family -- Home
  D'oh! Abe: -- I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars....
• I love my country too much to be a nationalist. -- Albert Camu
• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Homer: [reading the note] Lisa refuses to play dodgeball because she is sad.
  [end of note] She doesn't look sad. I don't see any tears in her eyes....
• I don't do this for my health, you understand. I do it for the pain.
  I *LOVE* the pain! -- Professor Hugh D. Young, quoted out of context....
• My cat wasn't broke, but I had him fixed anyway.