Related:

• All my friends are dead. My pet spider, Sammy. Katy the worm, Bertie the bird.
  Everyone except Neville the Fat Hamster. I'm afraid Neville bought it too, Baldrick....
• That Farrow bloke you executed today. You sure he's dead?
  I cut his head off. That usually does the trick. -- Edmund and Baldrick : Head...
• which reminds me of the Carrot family: Ma Carrot, Pa Carrot, and Baby Carrot.
  One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic....
• Surely you must have noticed something in the air? Well yes, of course, but I thought that was Private Baldrick.
  -- Edmund and George : Goodbyeee......
• Why do I have to have a bag on my head? In order, nin-com-poop, that she should believe you're her husband!
  Why..did he use to wear a bag on his head? -- Baldrick and Edmund : Head...
• B'Ijik: "Greetings, Captain. I regret to inform you that Gowron and the High Council are quite busy and won't be able to speak with you today.
  Picard: "Is Gowron aware that we have been transmitting messages for the past three days?...
• Why on earth would an anarchist possibly want to kill you?
  I think it might have been _you_ he was after, sir....
• You'll miss the whole end of the war! Yes, very bad luck.
  Beep. Right... Beep. ...Now, Baldrick, I'll be back as soon as I can....
• Voom???? That parrot wouldn't voom if you put 4000 volts through him.
  It's bleedin' demised... This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be....