Related:

• If it wasn't for this terrible war, Neville would still be here today, sniffling his little nose, and going, 'eek'.
  On the other hand, if he hadn't died, I wouldn't have been able to insert a curtain rod in his bottom and use him as a dishmop....
• Edmund is distastefully chewing his prescribed leeches) .
  ..Anything to follow, my lord? There's this lovely fat spider I found in the bath....
• All the men present and correct, sir. ALl ready for the off, eh?
  I'm afraid not, Lieutenant, I'm just off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers....
• Don't worry, I could go on all night! Not with a bayonet through your neck, you couldn't.
  -- Baldrick and Edmund : Goodbyeee......
• Till then, we've got bugger all to do except sit and wait.
  Oh, I dunno sir, we could have a jolly game of charades?...
• I think I can explain, sir. Can you, Baldrick? ....
  ....No. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Corporal Punishme...
• ounds of cheers...Baldrick enters the dugout) Sir!
  Sir! It's all over the trenches! Well, mop it up, then... -- Baldrick and Edmund : Major Sta...
• Let's practice. Edmund comes in and says, 'Hello Baldrick.
  ..you haven't seen Percy, have you?', to which you reply....
• Surely you must have noticed something in the air? Well yes, of course, but I thought that was Private Baldrick.
  -- Edmund and George : Goodbyeee......