Related:

• Golf ... combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
  Try to tailor your golfing behavior to the low- key, low-pressure spirit of these antecedents....
• You can't use tact with a congressman. A congressman is a hog.
  You must take a stick and hit him on the snout. -- Henry Adam...
• Envelopes and stamps which don't stick when you lick them will stick to other things when you don't want them to.
  -- Fourth Law of Office Murphology...
• If you want to hit, use a dagger.
• Burns: Imagine it, Smithers: electrical lights and heaters running all day long!
  Smithers: But Sir! Every plant and tree will die, owls will deafen us with incessant hooting....
• ...I'm going to hit it with a stick.
• Marge: Bart, you said you were going to study. Ba
  [clearly in pain] Oh! My stomach. Marge: Mmm, you just don't want to take that test....
• If you want to have a long life, you must give up all those things that would make a long life interesting and fun.
• Jimbo: Looks like he took a pretty bad spill. Nelso
  [pokes him with a stick] Well, as long as he's hurt....