Golf ... combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and
hitting things with a stick. Try to tailor your golfing behavior to the
low- key, low-pressure spirit of these antecedents. Calm the nerves of
fellow players by talking cheerfully to them while they tee off or attempt
to one-putt. Help the greenskeeper do his job by making sure that grass
roots are well-aerated with divots. Give the caddy a chance to catch up on
his aerobic exercises trotting alongside the golf cart with your bag on his
shoulder. And don't hit things you aren't supposed to. An important aspect
of golf is knowing what to hit.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
