Related:

• I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
• I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ``That guy sure owed me a lot of money.
  '' -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do.
  Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised....
• I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half?
  Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EASY!
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...