Related:

• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. -- Stephen Wrigh
• In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
  ..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
  -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
• I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -- Steven Wrigh