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• I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors.
  The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper....
• My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
  I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
• In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
  ..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around.
  I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face....
• I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. -- Steven Wrigh
• I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot. -- Steven Wrigh