Related:

• I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above.
  ..so I never have to go upstairs. -- Steven Wrigh...
• My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Everthing is farther away than it used to be. It is even twice as far to the corner and they have added a hill.
  I have given up running for the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to....
• I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big.
  Some people must be really tired. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I have a map of the United States. It's actual size.
  I spent last summer folding it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6". -- Steven Wrigh...
• I finally went to the eye doctor. I got contacts. I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age. -- Steven Wrigh