Related:

• I'm a Catholic. I'm like most Catholics. When I grew up I quit.
  I can't quite understand some religions. They're all supposed to be right....
• Martin: [raises hand] Mrs. Krabappel, I also have an announcement to make.
  Krabappel: Can't it wait until I retire? Martin: [clears throat and gets up] I want one and all to join me in celebrating the anniversary of my portentous birth....
• It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, the the guy at the Marineland says, "You can't throw chicken to the dolphins.
  They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them....
• IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins.
  They eat fish." Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them!...
• It seems these two Airmen decided to rob the local 7-11, a stupid move in and of itself.
  But wait, its stupid to rob a store when you're in the military 'cause the haircut will give you away every time....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?
• Homer: I guess it wouldn't be right to sell Stampy after he saved my life.
  And the boy seems to have some sort of relationship with him....