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• A man always needs to remember one thing about a beautiful woman.
  Somewhere, somebody's tired of her....
• There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.
  -- Joan Didion, "Slouching Towards Bethlehem...
• If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not you should kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Lost his girl friend because he couldn't remember where he had laid her.
• Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she hasn't got a lot to say.
• Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was her dad's.
  Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains....
• When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl.
  He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me....
• In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of the revelers.
  Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet conversation, said, "I'm afraid you and I don't really fit in with this jaded group....
• It is always preferable to visit home with a friend.
  Your parents will not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature human beings....