Related:

• I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.
  I hit a bookmark. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was skydiving horizontally. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I filled my humidifier with wax and left it on. Now everything in my house is shiny.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• Sometimes I...No, I don't. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought a portable cable tv. -- Steven Wrigh
• I can't stop thinking like this. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had amnesia once or twice. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh