Related:

• WHARF One of those places where noisy men hang around chewing tobacco and swearing and going on strike a lot.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• MADNESS A condition that can drive people to buy albums by a Minogue in the mistaken belief that they contain any display of talent.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• NULL MODEM Another one of those things which sits around on your desk for months, but mysteriously vanishes the day before you need it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• BASEBALL A pointless little game in which a couple of dozen people run around a diamond formation as fast as they can, just to get back to where they started.
  Beats me why they didn't just stay at home base in the first place....
• SEA Where fish fingers come from. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• NEWT One of those really small beasties that annoys little kids because they're too small to step on.
  I dunno though - if you were flying along and got caught in the downward air-draught of a descending foot, it'd do serious damage, wouldn't it?...
• TOTAL The sum or entire amount of a number of things, which if added by hand tends not to relate in any way shape or form to the values or attributes of those things.
  Oh bugger, where's the calculator got to? -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• TAPE, MAGNETIC A form of storage, tape was especially developed to make it easy to record and re-record valuable images, sounds or data, onto it.
  The tape can then be played back at will, before suddenly getting caught in the heads of your tape deck one day and consequently losing all the valuable images, sounds and/or data....
• VANQUISH A word most commonly used in solemn ceremonies, usually of the form "Behold the devil, I now vanquish thee" in weird religious ceremonies or bad fantasy books.
  The amusing thing being that the speaker is generally of the mistaken belief that the use of a little Olde English will result in the demise of Satan for all eternity....