Related:

• The man who invented the zip fastener was today honored with a lifetime peerage.
  He'll now be known as the Lord of the Flies. -- Ronnie Barke...
• Meanwhile, back in the year ONE...
• Meanwhile back at the farm, Aunt Martha had gone for a tramp in the forest and was lying in a ditch at the edge of town.
  .." -- MASH...
• An optimist is a person who goes to the window every morning and says, "Good morning, God!
  The pessimist goes to the window every morning and says, "Good god, morning!...
• The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter really enjoys the bitterness of failure.
  -- Soren Kierkegaard...
• Tip of the Day: Never fry bacon in the nude.
• We will be talking to a man who was imprisoned in Wormwood Scrubs for his beliefs.
  He believed the night watchman was asleep. -- Ronnie Corbe...
• Otto: Get off the bus or forever hold your peace, little dudes!
  Bart: Otto, you know I respect you. I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns....
• Back off man! I'm a programmer...