Related:

• My mother was the tour guide for Guilt Trips...
• Tour guide: At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing.
  The Harrier Jet is one of our more dollar- intensive ordnance delivery vectors....
• Tour guide: Well, that's the tour. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer -- Lisa
  I have one. Tour guide: Yes? Lisa: Is the remarkably sexist drivel spouted by Malibu Stacy intentional, or is it just a horrible mistake?...
• Tour guide: Welcome to "Enchantment Lane" where all the parts come together and Malibu Stacy is born.
  Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air....
• Tour guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day.
  Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples....
• I B M U B M We all B M For I B M!!!! -- H.A.R.L.I.E.
• Here we have, Duff, Duff Light, and our newest flavor, Duff Dry.
• Let your conscience be your guide. -- Pope
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...