Related:

• I was out in the backyard one beautiful day. I said to my mother, "Mama, why don't I have no sister or no brother?
  She said, "Go away, go play, don't worry your mother, dear....
• I went to college--majored in philosophy. My father said, "Why don't you minor in communications so you can wonder out loud?
  So I did. I got out of school, landed a job as a morning DJ on an all-philosophy radio statio...
• I was dating this girl for two years--and right away the nagging sta
  I wanna know your name." -- Mike Binde...
• Never moon a werewolf. -- Mike Binde
• My youngest child is the funniest one of the group.
  I had just finished eating and my stomach was swollen from the food that went in it....
• Girls now say what they think. I was with one the other night.
  Two in the morning she told me to go to a sex clinic....
• What would you say, my lord, if I were to say...'I love you'?
  Umm...(strangled)..Well, it depends entirely on who you said it to....
• Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
  Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa....
• I 'C' said the blind man.