Related:

• VACUUM-CLEANER Men have traditionally said of vacuum-cleaners "what's that?
  New men know what vacuum-cleaners are, even if they've never touched them in the flesh....
• HORSE I begin to seriously doubt the viability of a dictionary that defines "horse" as "a soft-hoofed ungulate.
  A horse is actually any four legged creature in a Western movie....
• NEEDLE An object of evil. It was devised by the evil Count Pierre deNeedle
  one of those French bastards who wore a top hat and was always tying maidens to railway tracks in deserted black-and-white valleys, and setting off nuclear bombs on peaceful Pacific islands....
• NEW ALLIED WEAPONRY - The SKM - Shit-Kicker Missile.
  When this baby hits them Iraqis, the shit really hits the fan!...
• COMPETITION Competition is now recognised as the lynch-pin of free trade, the brake-pad of democracy, and the small plastic novelty egg of the consumer society.
  It is also an excellent method of breaking up monopolies, with subsequent improvements in consumer choice and customer service....
• Shit Happens' according to... Psychologist: Shit is in your mind.
  Everything that happens is shi...
• COMPUTER An electronic device designed to make you rip your hair out.
  The principles of a computer are very simple. You give the computer some data as input, it messes, mixes, scrambles and screws up the data until it is nonsensical and unrecognisable, and then it spits it out the other end as output....
• INJECTION Medical procedure especially developed to scare the shit out of the patient, and give the doctor a feeling of power.
  Just sit very still, Mr Jones, while I stick this bloody great needle in you....