Related:

• SHUT YER FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT!!!
• A reporter is pestering her at a party. R: "have you ever had your ears pierced" DP
  No, but I've often had them bored...
• If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.
• O When the lady smiles, You know it drives me wild =`\&l
  Her lips are warm and resourcefull, (=)/(=) When the lady smiles, I cannot resist her call And as a matter of fact, I don't resist at all....
• Fortune is a woman. It is necessary, if you wish to master her, to take her by force before she has a chance to resist.
  -- Niccolo Machiavelli...
• Oh, could you view the melody Of every grace And music of her face, You 'd drop a tea
  Seeing more harmony In her bright eye Than now you hear....
• Calculon: An Oscar, you say? That would get me out of this festering rats' nest called television once and for all.
• Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
  .. -- Tom Lehre...
• Joe's sister puts spaghetti in her shoes.