Related:

• Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good.
  -- Joe Paterno...
• Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it. -- Harry Secombe's die
• I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important - like a league game or something.
  -- Dick Butkus, Chicago Bears Linebacke...
• Don't put in any time with Willie Horton visiting on weekends unless you can stand the publicity of appearing on a Republican ad for the Presidency of the United States.
• Unless you put your money to work for you, you work for your money. -- Joe Mille
• The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
• Yech! This stuff tastes like poison.
• If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim. -- Joe E. Lewi
• Why does it hurt when I pee? My balls feel like a pair of maracas!
  I got it from the toilet seat! It jumped right up and grabbed my meat!...