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Answering Machine Message "Thank You For Calling The Suicide Hotline!
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Answering machine message
"Thank you for calling the Suicide Hotline! At the tone, your telephone
handset will disintegrate, sending jagged shrapnel straight through your
brain, killing you instantaneously. [dramatic pause] BEEEEP!"
Related:
Answering machine message "Thank you for calling the [insert city name here] Opera Auditioning Hotline!
At the tone, sing one of your favorite pieces, and leave a short message containing your name and phone number....
Answering machine message "Thank you for calling the United States War Department.
At the tone, please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message with the name of the country you wish to invade....
Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment.
If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you....
You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
(Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway's not here right now
but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible....
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line.
Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear?...
You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....
You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
-- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....