Related:

• A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.
• The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh restaurant when their waite
  umbling as he brought their drinks, dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress....
• Moderator: Knows all, sees all, trips over his/her own two feet.
• Son, a woman is a lot like a... [looks around] a refrigerator!
  They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and....
• You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming out of you.
  -- Selma on a date, "A Fish Called Selma...
• There is this to be said for walking: It's the one mode of human locomotion by which a man proceeds on his own two fee
  upright, erect, as a man should be, not squatting on his rear haunches like a frog....
• Worf becomes anrgy at the thought of brushing his teeth.
• Hey! Who's snorting the Dilithium Crystals???
• Success is like a fart -- only your own smells nice. -- James P. Hoga