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Stand (or Sit If You Are More Advanced) On The Shore And Sing At Passing Ships.
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Stand (or sit if you are more advanced) on the shore and sing at
passing ships. Score a point for each one that runs aground.
-- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
Related:
Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
(This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
Don't become a concert pianist. They use the soft pedal as *well* as the damper.
Be thankful you never liked organs, because you don't stand a chance....
Tear out all but the first thirty or so pages of _The Joy of Sex_.
Believe me, all those advanced positions are just not going to be possible....
Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
-- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
Accuse fun-run organisers of discrimination. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
-- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
Buy your chiropodist a farewell present. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
Donate your shoe collection to Imelda Marcos. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.