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• Now before we negotiate, I have to tell you I'm desperate to unload Lurleen, and I'll take any offer.
  -- Homer Simpson, Master Bargainer, "(Lurleen on Me)...
• Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage.
  ..when pigs fly! [They laugh. The pig sails across the sky before them....
• Khan: "That's better. Now, tell me...why are you here?
  And tell me where I may find James Kirk." -- "STII:TWOK", Stardate 8130.4...
• ISDN: I Smell Dollars Now!! (It Still Doesn't Network!)
• The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door He said, "I am not fighting for you anymore" The queen knew she had seen his face someplace before And slowly she let him inside.
  He said, "I see you now, and you're so very young But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won And I have this intuition that it's all for your fun And now will you tell me why?...
• I have to go, I promised Bob I'd let him buy me drinks tonight.
• With deep concern, if not alarm, Dick noted that his friend Conrad was drunker than he'd ever seen him before.
  What's the trouble, buddy?", he asked, sliding onto the stool next to his friend....
• When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.
  I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now....
• Now won't you tell me if you like what you've just heard?