Related:

• The best contraceptive is the word no--repeated frequently. -- Margaret Smith
• It's a cold fish! It's DEAD IN THE WATER!
• Before enlightenment, one carries water and chops wood.
  After enlightenment, one carries water and chops wood. -- Zen Proverb...
• A good cure for a hangover is to drink black coffee the night before instead of the morning after.
  -- Laurence J. Pete...
• Revenge is a meal best served cold.
• Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea)
  For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron....
• If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you.
  If you give him a glass of water, he says, "This is a glass of water....
• Symptom: Feet cold and wet, glass empty. Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
  Action Required: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling....
• Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass. -- First Law of Laboratory Work