Related:

• Woman: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle, and -- Are you wearing a grocery bag?
  Homer: I have misplaced my pants. Bart After Dark...
• Love comes to you, and then after...
• There's no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.
• You fiend! What have you done to him?!! We have put.
  ..a _bag_ over his head. -- Lady Farrow and Edmund : Head...
• Why is it that you always have to rummage through the wastebasket for a note right after you've just emptied your ashtray?
• In a three-storey building served by one elevator, nine times out of ten the elevator will be on a floor where you are not.
  -- Dedera's Law...
• Everything comes to him who waits - and in a building with one elevator, it will also be noticed that the thing goes up twice before it comes down once.
• Worker's Dilemma Law (or Management's Put-Down Law) 1) No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
  2) What you don't do is always more important than what you do do....
• After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
  And you learn that love doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build all your roads On today because tomorrow's ground Is too uncertain....