Related:

• My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!
  The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo?...
• Why don't you walk into a parking meter and violate yourself? -- Dick Cave
• Two behaviorists meet in the morning and one says to the other, You're fine. How am I?
• Lisa: They don't like being broken up. Marge: We've got to be realistic, kids.
  Who's going to have a big enough heart to take care of 25 puppies?...
• I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
  ..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....
• Two Russian friends happen to meet in Red Square. One of them says, "By the way, did you hear that Romanov died?
  "No," replied the other, "I didn't even know he'd been arrested!...
• I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• Two sages were standing on a bridge over a stream. One said to the other, "I wish I were a fish.
  They are so happy." The other replied, "How do you know whether fish are happy or not?...
• I was walking down the street the other day when I saw this guy with two wooden legs, but real feet.