Related:

• The local minister noticed a little girl standing outside of his door with a basket of kittens.
  "Hello, little girl, what do you have there?" "These are my Democratic kittens," she replied....
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. -- Steven Wrigh
• I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one.
  It wasn't doing what I was doing. I tried to DRAW my shadow once, but I couldn't ....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• I was going to commit suicide the other day. I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold outside.
  The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees today,' and I said 'Oops....
• I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything.
  Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off....