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There Are Two Real Incentives Toward Reducing Your Weight During The Summer Season.
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There are two real incentives toward reducing your weight during the summer
season. One is a swim suit that all too easily shows where the bulges are
that should't be, and the other is that lawn chair that gets up when you
do, and goes with you!
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You know you should be swimming when . . . At home, you close all the drapes, take off your clothes and don a pair of swim fins.
Real programmers do not clear registers twice before using them.
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Homer: Honey, I'm home! Marge: Hello, dear. How was work at the plant?
Homer: It's not a plant, Marge, it's a tree, and I've nearly chewed through it....
Marge: All right, all right, but if you win, don't make a scene and dance around with your "woo-hoo"s, please!
We can't afford a single slipup. They're judging us....
When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?
When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way....
If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle.
So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it....