Related:

• You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
  -- Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) (1835-1910)...
• In my car, I can drive 200 miles and the gas gauge stays on full.
  Just 20 feet after that 200 mile mark, and the gauge drops dead and falls to near empty. Why?...
• You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
  She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneri...
• Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you wish.
  -- Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) (1835-1910)...
• Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
  -- Mark Twai...
• Simple rules for saving money: to save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count forty.
  To save three-quarters, count sixty. To save it all, count sixty- five. -- Mark Twai...
• Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
  -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)...
• When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
  -- Mark Twai...
• Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. -- Mark Twai