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• Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
  -- Herbert Gardne...
• When the sun beats down and I lie on the bench, I can always hear them talk, Me, I'm just a lawnmower.
  .. you can tell me by the way I walk....
• How can you tell there's anything out there? The door's closed.
  -- The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• You can tell what a person is by what they do when they haven't anything to do.
• Don't make me speak in a New Language, Just let me tell you the way that I feel about you.
  I sure don't want to offend anyone, But if you take away my words, how can I tell you the truth?...
• If anything I have said offends you, well that's just too bad. :)
• Captain, how soon can we land?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me; I'm a doctor." -- Airplane!
• Q: They just announced on the radio that Dan Quayle was picked as the Republican V.
  P. candidate. Should I post? A: Of course. The net can reach people in as few as 3 to 5 days....
• Anything you can do I can do better; anything I can do YOU can do bette
  anything I can do I can do better; anything IBM does will cost more money....