Related:

• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
  After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an asshole return your call as soon as possible....
• Thank you for calling the Confessional Hotline. Father Durway's not here right now
  but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible....
• You've reached the B&D Hotline. All our operators are tied up right now
  o if you leave a name, number, a list of transgressions, and bark like a dog, we'll get right back to you with your penance....
• Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment.
  If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you....
• Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now
  o after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following word...
• You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
  Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....
• Thank you for calling Robert's House of Love. All of our customer service representatives are, er.
  .. busy servicing customers, so at the sound of the erotic tone, leave your name, number, and a short description of whatever turns you on....
• Thank you for phoning the Save the Sasquatch Hotline.
  Our operators do not exist at the moment, but if you wish to make a contribution, please leave your name, number, and the amount of your bequest at the sound of the beep, and something will get back to you shortly....