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• At social gatherings, I would amuse everyone by standing uponst the coffee table and striking meself repeatedly upon the head with a brick.
  -- H.R. Gumby...
• Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me.
  So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table....
• I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.
• It's not fear of striking out that makes me reluctant to step up to the plate.
  It's the fear of getting hit in the head by a 90 mph fastball, the pitcher coming off of the mound to stomp me with her cleats while I am down, the rest of the opposing team rushing out of the dugout hurling insults as they kick me and spit on me, while all along the crowd in the stands is cheering them on and laughing at my failure....
• Well, paint me green and call me Gumby!
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I brake for brick walls.
• Homer: {Twenty-one? Do that card counting thing again.
  Come on: do it again.} Raymond: {Definitely have to leave the table....
• gumby /guhm'bee/ n. [from a class of Monty Python characters, poss.
  with some influence from the 1960s claymation character] 1....