Related:

• VAGRANT One of those people who make you feel guilty (for not giving them money) and angry (for them bothering you in the first place) at the same time.
  Actually most vagrants in this city either keep themselves to themselves by being sleepy and smelly on street benches, or by cheerfully walking their way through inner-city streets with no shoes on, mumbling theories on modern civilisation....
• NOTICEBOARD A large board placed somewhere in the office, where administrative- type people place important notices that no-one ever reads.
  Also the location of very bad cartoons on the subject of office life, pinned up by the office wag....
• DATABASE Developed in the early 1800's, by Rodney Database of Darlingto
  the database is a marvellously efficient way of putting large amounts of information into one central repository, never to be seen again....
• INJECTION Medical procedure especially developed to scare the shit out of the patient, and give the doctor a feeling of power.
  Just sit very still, Mr Jones, while I stick this bloody great needle in you....
• Although they do not inquire into the future, and either forget or do not know the pa
  yet defame present times as most unusually beset, as it were, by evils because there is belief in Christ and worship of God, and increasingly less worship of idols....
• COMPUTER An electronic device designed to make you rip your hair out.
  The principles of a computer are very simple. You give the computer some data as input, it messes, mixes, scrambles and screws up the data until it is nonsensical and unrecognisable, and then it spits it out the other end as output....
• REFERENCE The academic way of copying what someone else has written.
  The best references don't actually exist. Which means they can say precisely what you want them to say....
• BREAKFAST The first of three major meals of the day
  breakfast for the average person will normally consist of a small to average amount of food, such as a medium serving of artichoke, followed by three slices of cow pie and orange juice, two boxes of Corn Flakes, ninety-seven unpeeled bananas, fifteen rashers of bacon, nineteen eggs, toast, and a sesame-seed bun....
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA