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• I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.
• I bought a portable cable tv. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -- Steven Wrigh
• Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" -- Steven Wrigh
• Decaffeinated coffee? Just Say No.
• I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.
  It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included....
• I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I'm gonna find a tractor that small. -- Steven Wrigh