Related:

• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you wake up face down on the pavement.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces have locked together.
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to the sound of DEA agents/FBI agents/Armenian Nationalists breaking down your door.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
• You know it's going to be a bad day if you wake up with your water bed busted--and you know you ain't got a water bed.
  -- Jan Murray...
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you forget your new password.