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• An older couple are in bed one night, and the woman wakes up and says, "Sam, get up and close the window.
  It's cold outside." The fellow just keeps right on snoring....
• Levity is the soul of wit. -- Melville D. Landon. (Eli Perkins)
• It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom window or outside your bedroom, period.
  - Groucho Marx...
• Of all the tall tales, I think my favorite is the one about Eli Whitney and the interchangeable parts.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Wiggum: We're still not close. Boy! This is going to be an all-night brain-buster.
  [rolls chair over to coffee machine] Oh, we're out of coffee!...
• Window closed - Do not look outside -- WindowError: 00D
• Window open - Do not look outside -- WindowError: 011
• Boss to employer: No, Baxter, you're not being replaced by a computer- only a silicon chip.
  -- Eli Stei...