Related:

• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... Do as I say, not as I do. Do me a favour and don't tell me about it....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• The ABCs of Appliance Repair: a) At the first sign of electrical or mechanical trouble, gently wipe the outside of the appliance with a damp cloth.
  This should correct the problem. b) If that doesn't work, don't do anything....
• One of the questions that comes up all the time i
  How enthusiastic is our support for UNIX? Unix was written on our machines and for our machines many years ago....
• George: Uh, Mr. President, Sir. People are becoming a bit.
  .. confused by the way your and your opponent are, well, constantly holding hands....
• Marge: I'm worried that you're making too big a deal of this silly little kiddie golf tournament.
  Homer: But Marge, but this is our big chance to show up the Flandereses....
• Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use another voice, but people can see your lips moving.
  -- Penn Jillette...
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...
• Bad cops, bad cops...Bad cops, bad cops Springfield cops are on the take But what do you expect for the money we make?
  Whether in a car or on a horse We don't mind using excessive force Bad cops, bad cops....