Related:

• Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell.
  (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time....
• Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
  We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up....
• Stoned, slow voice:) Hey brother, you have reached the Narcotics Information Hotline.
  None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists....
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• Hello, you have reached dial an unpopular luncheon meat, I am pimento loaf, leave me a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• You've reached the B&D Hotline. All our operators are tied up right now
  o if you leave a name, number, a list of transgressions, and bark like a dog, we'll get right back to you with your penance....
• Thank you for calling Robert's House of Love. All of our customer service representatives are, er.
  .. busy servicing customers, so at the sound of the erotic tone, leave your name, number, and a short description of whatever turns you on....
• You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
  Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....
• 1: Hi, you've reached Bob and Faisal's room. 2: (Background
  ) What are you doing? 1: I'm recording an answering machine message....