Related:

• Rimmer: But that was a barroom brawl, that was a common pub fight, a shambolic drunken set-to.
  Lister: ...which you started. Rimmer: I just made an innocuous comment....
• Holly: Ah, got him: 'Tension Sheet, inventor of, Dave Lister, aged 17.
  ' Rimmer: Damn! Holly: And he died tragically in a plane crash, aged 98....
• Kryten: It's the old, old story: Droid meets Droid
  Droid becomes Chameleon, Droid loses Chameleon, Chameleon turns into Blob, Droid gets Blob back again, Blob meets Blob, Blob goes off with Blob, and Droid loses Blob, Chameleon, and Droid....
• Kryten: That is the Inquisitor. He prunes away the wastrels, expunges the wretched, and deletes the worthless.
  Rimmer: We're in big trouble. -- Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritan switchboard and 4 people committed suicide!
  -- Lister, trying to persuade Rimmer that he knows him....
• Lister: Is it me, or are those frogs saying 'useless'?
  Frogs: Useless, useless, Rimmer, you're useless. Ca...
• Kryten: Spin my nipple-nuts and send me to Alaska! -- Red Dwarf - 'Camille'
• Rimmer: What about the Rimmer Directive, which states, Never tangle with anything that's got with more teeth than the entire Osmond family?
  -- Red Dwarf - 'Polymorph'...
• Kryten: Camille looks like your sister-in-law? What happened?
  Was she involved in some kind of horrific car accident?...