Related:

• Did you hear about the Army noncom who had stripes tattooed on his penis so he could pull rank.
• There is one way to find out if a man is honest--ask him.
  If he says yes, you know he is crooked. -- Groucho Marx...
• There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him.
  If he says "Yes" you know he is crooked. -- Groucho Marx...
• But as he knew no bad language, he had called him all the names of common objects that he could think of, and had screamed
  You lamp! You towel! You plate!" and so on. -- Sigmund Freud...
• Skinner: Lucky for you this is just a warning gator.
  Next one won't be corked. [points to the corks blunting the alligator's teeth] Wiggum...
• There is really no use in aiming high in life if you are too lazy to pull the trigger.
• Did you hear about the snail that was mugged by two tortoises?
  When he went down to report the mugging the police officer asked him if he could describe the event and the snail replied, "I don't know if I could, it happened so fast....
• A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.
  The VWD examines him and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross examine him about his recent diet....
• Lunacon '92--and he built a crooked house.