Related:

• A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.
  After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it....
• A lawyer shows up at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, "Normally we don't let you people in here but you're in luck, we have a special this week.
  You go to hell for the length of time you were alive, then you get to come back up here for eternity....
• A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.
  They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follow...
• My lawyer can beat up your lawyer!
• Lawyer: Krusty, have you _ever_ seen this so-called animation genius before?
  Krusty: Yes I have. Lawyer: [surprised] You have?...
• Here's an amazing story. A man in Orlando, Florida, was hit by eight cars in a row and only one stopped.
  The first seven drivers thought he was a lawyer. The eighth was a lawyer. -- Jay Leno...
• You'll never get to heaven if you pay a lawyer.
• One day a gate breaks down between heaven and hell.
  So St. Peter arrives on the scene and calls out for the devil....
• The stolen car fairy? A lawyer once said his client didn't know how a number of stolen cars had ended up on his property.