Related:

• How many poltergeists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to unscrew the old bulb and drop it on the floor, one to put the new bulb in, and one to move a few more things about just for good measure....
• How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company....
• How many country & western singers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah !...
• How many waitresses -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. Two to stand around bitching about it and one to go get the manager....
• How many builders -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, but I'll 'ave to take out yer rafters and 'ave a go at yer damp an'all missus....
• I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs.
  And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. No, go ahead....
• Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall ...
• Homer: No one in history has ever done anything this clever!
  On the plan to get back Springfield's Lemon Tree, stolen by Shelbyville, by parking the van illegally, so it is towed into the parking lot where the tree is kept, from which they all sneak out at night....
• How many archaeologists does -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is....