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• Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. -- Ed Gardne
• Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, sings. --Ed Gardne
• He's a punishment that's waiting for a suitable crime. -- Ed GardnerEd Gardne
• He's so old he gets winded playing checkers. -- Ed Wy
• New York's such a wonderful city, but at the library the guy was very rude.
  I said I'd like a card. He said, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York....
• The opera ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. -- Dick Motta
• Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history.
  From the! Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!...
• I've got a friend who is a boxer. Once he hung up his coat in a restaurant but he was afraid someone would run off with it.
  He hung a sign on it saying, "This coat belongs to the champion boxer of the world and I'll be back....
• Barclay: "I mean, I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there's a party
  and when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant....