Related:

• Ned: Our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend.
  Bart: [thinking] Oh no, me bring Homer on a rafting trip?...
• You are not my son! -- Homer Simpson Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
• Bart: [to himself] Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say "No.
  Then it'll be his fault. Homer: [to himself] I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, "Yes!...
• Homer: Son, there was something I was going to give you at the end of this trip, but since we may not survive, I want you to have it now.
  Bart: [gasps] A real Swiss Army knife! Cool! Home...
• Ned: Well, I guess now we know why they call them "rapids" and not "slowpids", huh?
  Bart: [appreciative] Ha, ha! Homer: You are not my son!...
• Bart: Oh, man, how are we supposed to kill the rest of the afternoon?
  Bum: You mustn't kill time, boys, you must cherish it....
• Homer: Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV saying we didn't want you in our family.
  But those were just actors playing us! Ba...
• Homer: Son...my dear son, from now I'm going to be a good and attentive father.
  And for starters, your old man is going to teach you how to ride your very first bike....
• Pepe: Oh, Papa Homer, you are so learn\`ed. Home
  Heh heh heh. `Learn'd', son. It's pronounced `learn'd'. -- "Brother from the Same Plane...