Related:

• He unholied the holy water!
  -- Agnes describes what Santa's Little Helper did at church to Bart, "The Canine Mutiny...
• Marge: Oh, Homer, there seems to be a lot of good obedience schools here.
  Bart: Oh, school, right, yeah, that's your answer to everything....
• Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk.
  Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him....
• Homer: [gasps, then realizes] Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it.
  I'm being mocked. By my own children. On my birthday....
• Homer: We can't lose! Look at the name of the dog I bet on.
  Marge: "She's The Fastest"...Homer, I don't think that means necessarily -- Announce...
• Marge: What's the matter, Bart? Weren't you happy with him?
  Bart: No, he just wasn't the right dog for me....
• Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.
  So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog....
• And if he runs away, he won't be hard to catch.
• Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch? [SLH looks up, tired, then puts his head back down] Aw.
  Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play any more since his bitch moved in....