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• Krusty: Hi, kids! [laughs] [sees empty studio] Huh?
  Is it Saturday? -- "Itchy and Scratchy and Marge...
• Kent: For another opinion... Krusty: [laughs] Hi, kids!
  [laughs] Kent: Krusty, please. We're giving you the opportunity to participate in a serious discussion, here....
• Krusty: Hey, kids! It's story time. [laughs] I'm going to tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new sui
  his sexual harassment suit. [laughs painfully] Boy....
• Krusty: Get out! Don't come back 'til you fix "Itchy & Scratchy"!
  [Myers walks out, slamming Krusty's office door so hard that it comes of the hinges, shattering the window....
• Techie: Talking doll, take eight. Lisa: "When I get married, I'm keeping my own name.
  Oh, no, that should probably be "If I choose to get married....
• Krusty: Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids?
  Well, we've got another one coming right up....
• Hey, kids! Don't forget to watch my 29th Anniversary Show, featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel wacked out on wowie-sauce!
  -- Krusty, "I Love Lisa...
• Myers: I have figured out how to rejuvenate the show.
  It's so simple, you egghead writers would've never thought of it!...
• Itchy: Thanks, kids. Now we'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment.
  Scratchy: Yup. This week is the grand opening of "Itchy and Scratchy Land" -- the violentest place on earth[tm]....